Taps V13.2

Taps7734 posted a photo:

Taps7734 posted a photo:

Over the past few months, I have had several wonderful discussions with the enlightened ones. The ones that have been fortunate enough to see the error of my ways and kind enough to take great delight in pointing them out. I figured I would share a few with you.

In most of these the names have been changed. Not to protect the guilty or innocent. More so that I just didn’t think it was worthy to spend the brain power to actually remember their names.

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#1 – Happy Holidays.
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Random Person: So what are you planning on doing for Christmas this year?

Me: For christmas? Nothing. The time I take off around then? We are visiting my in-laws.

RP: What do you mean not “for Christmas”?

Me: Not really a holiday I celebrate.

RP: Why the hell not? Who doesn’t celebrate Christmas?

Me: Do you celebrate Hanukkah?

RP: No.

Me: Why not?

RP: I’m not Jewish!

Me: Same reason I don’t celebrate christmas. I’m not a christian.

RP: Are you Jewish?

Me: Nope.

RP: Islamic?

Me: Nope.

RP: Then what do you believe in?

Me: Me. And those close to me.

RP: Seriously? You dont believe in some sort of higher power? Supreme being? Anything?

Me: If I had to choose any religion. It would be a toss up between Greek or Roman mytholgoy, and ancient Egyptian beliefs. Those guys were awesome. Individual gods for each specific necessity. I gotta respect any deity that specializes.

RP: *blink*

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#2 – You will spend all eternity burning in a lake of fire. Have a nice day.
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Random Person: How come every photograph you put on Flickr is some naked woman?

Me: How come basic math skills elude you?

RP: Huh?

Me: What?

RP: All you have on there is nude women.

Me: That’s what I am saying. There are over 2500 photos in my Flickr stream. Less than 5% of those have nude women in them. Where I come from, basic math states that 5% is nowhere near all. It isn’t even close to being most. Nor is it approaching half. It just barely classifies itself as some.

RP: I dont think there should be any. They are disgusting. Most of them are fat anyways. Or ugly.

Me: Ohhhh… I get it. It isn’t that they are nude. It’s more that you don’t find them attractive. That’s what makes it wrong?

RP: Well. Either way. Pornography is a sin. And you will go to hell for what you have done.

Me: Really? A sin? Says who?

RP: God says so. It is in The Bible.

Me: Show me.

RP: Huh?

Me: Show me. Point to the exact line in this Bible you talk about that says that.

RP: I dont have a bible on me.

Me: Then Google it. Something. Anything. Please enlighten me. I dont think you can.

RP: It says it. Trust me.

Me: OK… Sure. Hey! What if I painted her nude? Is that OK? Is it the content we are referring to? Or is it the medium?

RP: That wouldn’t matter. Its the fact that she is naked that is the problem.

Me: I knew it! That Michelangelo guy was awful! All those naked people all over the Sistine Chapel.

RP: WHAT?!?! NO!! Those are religous paintings. They aren’t a sin.

Me: Cool. One of the women I photographed is a Reverend. I should be OK then.

RP: *shocked look*

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#3 – You are going to die.
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Scene: Me, standing out behind my office on the loading docks, smoking a cigarette. There is a sidewalk to the right of the dock that leads directly from the parking lot to the doors back into the building. There are steps on the left side of the dock.

Random Person: *Walks in front of the docks to go to the steps, then has to cross the dock/smoking area to get to the doors*

Me: *Nods Hello*

RP: *cough* I just want you to know, my father recently died from lung cancer because he smoked all his life.

Me: What a coincidence. Mine died from sticking his nose into other peoples business.

RP: *shocked* What? That was just rude! You are an asshole.

Me: I’m the asshole? I didnt just walk 80 feet out of my way to tell you that you were going to die.

RP: *Leaves to go inside. Gets to the door and cannot open it.* Can you let me in?

Me: Do you work here?

RP: Yes. In that building over there.

Me: Nope. Cant help you. That’s a security door. It is there for a reason. And me bypassing security to allow just anyone in would defeat the whole purpose. If you were supposed to be in this building, then you would have a card that allows you access.

RP: Do you know who I am?

Me: Nope. And I don’t care, either. Have a nice day. Just have it somewhere else.

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There are many others….. these are just the three that have stuck out in my head.

Taps7734 posted a photo:

1. DragonCon 2009, 2. DragonCon 2009, 3. Victoria, 4. DSCF9557, 5. DSCF7359, 6. flickr.com/photos/8116331@N08/1402494647/, 7. DSCF3575, 8. DSCF3284

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys

Taps7734 posted a photo: